Love Simplified

its been awhile. For a lot of things.
My divorce has been finalized for a while now. I'm with sam now. This thought both excites me and terrifies me at the same.
I'm excited for the wonderful relationship God has given me. Sam is a wonderful man who brings out the best in me. I'm not one who is used to being "noticed" or even thought of. He shows his love daily by the small mindful things he does for me.
I'm terrified because I'm scared I'm gonna screw it up. I'm terrified cause I've never been so happy. With my ex I was complacent. This was my life and well I was stuck in Hell.
I have recently begun to think what is true love? Is it bought? is it always romantic? Is it continuous "I loves u"?
I don't think any of those are true love. I believe true love is simple. It also has to grow and needs room. Meaning smootherring the other only makes it flee.
We are all individuals who need their own breathing room. I have been guilty of this. Trust has been a major issue for me. I think it is for anyone who has been cheated on. Trust is so important to allow love to bloom.
True love can be ruined by selfish actions when we don't realize we have them. Selfishness can come in forms of insecurities can continually doubting the other person.
The funny thing about lies is they all eventually come out on their own.
So why am I so scared? I'm scared of getting hurt again. But what if its not about getting hurt again. What if its the best thing yet?
The thing about God is He watches over, taking control,leading. What I've found is nothing like I've ever know.
All I'm trying to see the flaws, the snake in the ground, the hole. But what if their are no holes? What if I'm making this whole thing blow out of proportion? What if its just simple love? No strings no pit falls no out to get me?
I understand bad things in life sometimes happens but so do the good. What if we just take all the good things and try to turn them into bad cause then its what we expected? Why not expect all good things and the bad are just glitches?
Then it comes to allowing myself to be loved. To love myself so I can accept it from another. Where its no longer a far fetched idea. But a realistic one. I can be loved because I am lovable. Then it becomes quite simple.
Love is no longer elusive. Its been right in front of me the whole time. True love isn't even as hard as the movies make it out to be. Its finding someone to love me for me and loving him for him. And once that person is in ur life enjoy it. In the past I've made a circle try to fix in a square and was complacent about it. Now I've found a square that matches and it scared me.
The world has enough issues without me making it more than it is. Need to sit back and enjoy my squares :)