dReAmS

Again I awake with hints of despair and sadness. Its not even something I want. My relationship with him is over, why can't my inner mostness understand this. My dreams hide the truth of how it truly was. The truth of how much I truly despised being there.
I compare a lot when I shouldn't. I want a clean slate. If I had met sam first would I have appreciated him as much as I do? And everything we go through it makes us stronger.
So how does one overcome their own dreams. A place we can't get to?
I've been told dreams are a way ur brain works out things that are unsettled within u. I still feel like a failure having someone to leave u like that. It makes thoughts occur, like what was so awful about me it made someone pack up and leave when I was willing to put up with all the shit and stay.
Its the ultimate insult to have someone excuse u from their lives when they promised to always be there. Now I'm left with the distrusting all others and their promises.
Before I blindly believed ppl. Not sure how I feel. Maybe in my dreams I'm trying to still understand where and why it went so wrong esp since I didn't see it coming. No warning signs no memos.
If I can analyze it in my dreams then I can figure it out and maybe one day it will all make sense.
Then I won't have to worry out of the blue those I trust will turn on me.